L A V O X A

actual first page of the article

actual first page of the article

An online archive of my Lavoxa articles…

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Nosebleed Under 3 Seconds

by: Celine Bernadette Francisco

* edited version –> published in L Magazine’s 2007 issue

(Too late. You’re probably bleeding your nose off even before you finished reading the title. But please, not on the magazine—ed.)

Meet the woman of the century.

If you’ve never seen a top notch chef, engineer, lawyer, business woman, nurse, writer, and house help all on one person’s resume, then you probably never met Inday.

With the exceptional accomplishments she has achieved at a very young age coupled by her mind boggling exploits, Inday has become the ultimate supermaid that commands the attention of all social classes.

Inday outsmarts the majority of the average young adult population in the Philippines. In addition, her reasoning power makes it incredibly difficult for almost anyone to survive a debate against her. Many have tried (her masters, fellow house helpers and famous personalities), but every statement they make is challenged by a bloody (think major nosebleed) rebuttal.

Although structurally complicated, her responses are often sensible and professional no matter what the argument is about. Or, to say in behalf of those who take Inday’s tirades by heart, the essence of scientific and philosophical principles truly comes to life through her explanations.

Fast Facts (from blogniinday.com):

Name: Inocencia “Inday” Binayubay
Age: 20
Parents: Aling Seling & Mang Andoy
Siblings: Iying, Itoy, Ikling, Lando (need DNA confirmation)

Education:

  • De LaSalle University (Business Management, scholar)
  • Ateneo de Manila Law School
  • University of the Philippines (MS in Civil Engineering, major in Structural Engineering)
  • Asian Institute of Management
  • Training Center for Culinary Arts (affiliate chef)
  • University of Santo Tomas (BS in Nursing)
  • Oxford University (BA in English and Literature – 1 year only)

Highschool: P. Gomez Highschool (Valedictorian, Best in English)
Elementary: Sta. Monica Elem. School (Valedictorian, Best in Dancing)

Awards:

  • TOYM awardee (2006)
  • Nobel Prize winner (2006)
  • Pulitzer Award for Literary Arts (2007)

Work Experience – 3 years, household service manager (katulong), Mr & Mrs. Montemayor.

Hobbies:
Blogging, Nail Spa, Window Shopping at Greenbelt, listening to my iPod.

On Filipinos and the TV

“In my opinion, there’s a clamor among almost all of the entire Filipino populace within the age bracket of 15-60 to indulge themselves to a melodramatic treat with full of exciting twists and conspiracy and its plot, which and did stimulates simultaneous emotional outburst to those who have the pleasure to enjoy them. Especially after a long day of toil and hard work. I’m afraid that I should join the bandwagon so that I may not be left behind.”

In this SMS, the young lass explains to her mistress why she should watch television after a long day of work. True enough, students too, can get enough rational justification to spend a bit of time relaxing after a mind-twisting exam, aye?

On Breakups and Forbidden Love

“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”
–  ganito nakipagbreak si Inday kay Dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)
True enough, every human being, whether or not he or she belongs to the upper strata of society, experiences the ups and downs of emotions. Well, as for Inday, the conflict mainly runs through having a breakup with her sweetheart Dodong.

The usual usage of highly intellectual or should I say “nose bleeding” grammar does mark the Inday phenomenon. And as the Inday series soars within the aerospace to propagate life lessons vital to average everyday living, the normality of her individuality still reigns. She still shows that she indeed has the heart that feels.

Okay, so I must have also been struck by the Inday series phenomenon (as other writers have called the nationwide spread of her essence). But there might also be deeper reasons beyond her existence in our daily lives. Who knows, she may be the reformist we all have been waiting for all this time.

On Health and Medication

Amo: Inday, diba nurse ka naman, pakicheck naman blood sugar ko!

(Inday checks the Blood Sugar of the master)

Inday: The reading in this phased out CBG monitor shows that your blood glucose is elevated at 180mg/dL

Amo: (Sweats) Ha p********!!!! Bat nagkaganon!!!

Inday: Sir, don’t be such an overacting imbecile… Don’t you know you have Diabetes Mellitus?

Amo: (wipes blood from nose) Huh? Ano yun?

Inday:

Your illness is a complex metabolic derangement is characterized by a grossly abnormal usage of fuel. The level of insulin is inappropriately low while that of glucagon is too high relative to the needs of the body. As in starvation, glucose utilization in your illness is poor, but glucose is actually present in excessive amounts. Sir, its starvation amidst plenty.

Therefore, sir, there is an inhibition in the pathways of both glycolysis and glycogenesis. The liver attempts to generate glucose from 2 equivalents of PYRUVATE, which is catalyzed by pyruvate carboxylase, and uses up 2ATPs and converts it to ADP. The product OXALOACETATE is converted to PHOSPHOENOL PYRUVATE, in a GTP mediated reaction between the substrate and the enzyme PEP Carboxylase. PEP is then converted to 3-PHOSPHOGLYCERATE, 1,3 BIPHOSPHOGLYCERATE, FRUCTOSE 1,6-BIPHOSPHATE, FRUCTOSE-6-PHOSPHATE, each in succession though the enzyme phosphoglycerate kinase, then spontaneous oxidation by NADH, then enzyme Fructose 1,6-biphosphatase, respectively. The precursor to Glucose is now produced. The product GLUCOSE 6-PHOSPHATE underwent a dephosphorylation reaction by the enzyme Glucose 6-phosphatase to produce GLUCOSE, otherwise known as your Blood Sugar.

Sir, that explains the heightened level of glucose in your bloodstream. This pathway further increases that glucose level in a well-fed state.

Amo: (ear bleeds and faints, and rushed to Inday’s homecourt, UST Hospital, after First Aid, Insulin, and Shock Management by Inday).

Whew… Still there?.. After an hour of this medical lecture by Inday, I do hope you are still catching up. So, to simply say it, Inday actually has superior intellect. Her intelligence makes her in demand probably for a Cancer treatment experiment team. Or maybe she should now invent her own household gadgets too. But despite all her wit, attainments, and educational background, she still remains to be the servant. Why is that so? Let us now get to know more of this wonder nanny.

Inday Through her Manager

Due to the aspiration to know more about Miss Inocencia “Inday” Binayubay, L Magazine searched every nook and cranny (in cyberspace –ed.) to learn about the rare personality that dazzled Filipinos around the globe.

With the kindness of her manager through blogniinday.com, (we really did talk to her manager, yes he is a real person, and no, we’re not out of our minds –ed.) a fresh perspective on what lies beyond the text jokes, net phenomenon, and word of mouth regarding her adventures comes across.

L Mag: For you, what is the essence of the Inday series to Philippine society or Filipino life?

Manager: Galing sa isa pang interview, Inday said:

In a way, you can see that I am an epitome of being a Filipino. I am erudite, given the proper education and the opportunity to have one. I am almost always much better than my employer but I never forget my roots. I stand firmly on my beliefs and do not fold easily. Most of all, I love and I hurt but I choose to remain happy.

(Manager continues) Well said, pwede na masali sa Miss Universe. Hahaha. Yun, since her stories are sometimes a reflection of different sentiments from Filipinos, we can’t help but see a small sampling of Inday in ourselves.

L Mag: How do you handle being Inday’s manager? Do you have difficulties managing her?

Manager: Well, mabait naman talaga si Inday. Ibang level lang talaga siya, so if you’re gonna be dealing with her, you should be aware of your place. Basta don’t treat her as a mere tsimay. Don’t ever mistake that you can take her on kasi masusurprise ka lang and baka mapahiya ka lang. I just maintain her blog and transcribe some of her adventures. Mahirap din kasi minsan, hindi ko na napapansin mga grammatical errors na nagagawa ko.

L Mag: Upon dealing with her, how can you personally describe her qualities (strengths and weaknesses)?

Manager: She’s somewhat narcissistic, but that’s expected because she’s also highly intellectual. Pero, even though she knows a lot more than your average katulong, she doesn’t forget that she’s still a maid after all. She still obeys her masters, but they also respect her abilities and intellect.

L Mag: Despite her incredible abilities, how come she works as a maid? She could have opted for another job.

Manager: Her main reason is that she doesn’t want to disappear into nothingness from the eyes of the society. If she becomes a manager or a CEO or a lawyer, then nobody would be interested in her anymore. But if she stays as a housemaid, then she’ll be one of a kind.

L Mag: Does she represent a particular sector of society? How does she do, if yes?

Manager: She represents the underdogs. She wants to break the image of people with simple jobs: that they’re not always dumb or walang pinag-aralan or walang proper etiquette. She knows that they can always improve themselves and surprise people around them.

L Mag: How is she spiritually?

Manager: Uhmm, I don’t know… ‘Di niya pa naishare tungkol sa spiritual life niya.

L Mag: Does she have advocacies for the Filipino society/youth?

Manager: Always strive to reach the next level. Never let people tell you that you’re stuck where you are and that you cannot go far. Follow your dreams while doing good and helping others along the way.

L Mag: What do you want to tell Inday right now?

Manager: Inday, thank you for making me a part of your virtual life. I hope na makikilala ka at ang mga magaganda at nakakatuwang pangyayari sa buhay mo ng lahat ng mga Pinoy sa buong mundo.

L Mag: For you, what may be the reason why the Inday series became so popular nowadays?

Manager: Lahat tayo, in some way, nakakarelate sa mga adventures niya. Mapa-professional, student, call center agents, probinsyana, etc., and siyempre we always want to root for the underdog.

For a Greater Cause

Contrary from the numerous Inday jokes that bring a smile to texters everywhere, the phenomenon actually signifies a much greater cause hidden beneath its humor.

According to Sarah Raymundo, a professor at the University of the Philippines-Diliman, (as stated in an interview at an ABS-CBN program, ‘Probe’) the Inday jokes show the feeling of disparity experienced by maids. Moreover, the phenomenon also reflects the issues of underemployment and lack of adequate job opportunities even for college undergraduates.

However, there might also be deeper reasons beyond her existence in our daily lives. Who knows? She may be the reformist we have been waiting for all this time. c”,)

– – – editor in chief of the Mag (2007): Mihaela Mae Hinayon

3 Responses to “L A V O X A”

  1. Nadine April 15, 2009 at 1:55 pm #

    Hi,
    coeline.wordpress.com – da best. Keep it going!

    Have a nice day
    Nadine

  2. Kyri February 15, 2010 at 3:44 pm #

    Hi celine hehehe aus blog ah

  3. coeline February 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

    heheh.. thanks po ha.. nagvisit ka pla sa blog ko..

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